Life Coaching: Scars

I took a trip down memory lane today. It was not a happy trip. Sometimes those little mental breaks lead me in a direction into the past where I do not need to go.

Not every memory is a happy one. Some of us have scars—big ones. But what is a scar, after all? It’s merely what remains of a wound that’s healed. The key word in that last sentence is “healed.” Whether or not we allow those scars to define who we are, or assist us in developing a victim mentality is strictly up to us. Don’t get me wrong—some of us have survived that which did not kill us. I’m not sure if it made us stronger, or we were already strong, and therefore we survived. But, for whatever reason, we are here, proudly wearing our scars like medals of honor.

Here are a few questions to ponder today: What scars do you have? How have they shaped you into who you are today? Are they visible, or are they internal? How did you get them? How have they shaped and molded you into who you are today? Being totally transparent here today…because of something that happened to me at the hands of a narcissist, I feel an internal need to be heard and not ignored. When we are exposed to narcissistic behavior repeatedly, it leaves a scar. And it leaves baggage that must eventually be dealt with or else we devour ourselves from the inside out. It left me with knowing that I would never be silent again, and I would never be silenced again, by anyone, especially when it came to my hopes, dreams and aspirations. There is a downside to this way of thinking as well. In my zeal to be heard, I have to be careful to not harm others in the process. When our thought processes have been skewed by abuse, it’s easy, on the other side of it, to become that which we deplore—mean, vindictive, and obnoxious. I don’t wish to be any of those things. God has helped me to temper my feelings with love and grace. And mercy—mercy, most of all to myself, but mercy and forgiveness to others who wronged me. I am definitely NOT perfect, but that journey was a long one, and I have the internal scar to prove it.

Today’s blog took a turn I wasn’t expecting. But I think it took a necessary turn. If you’re struggling with your open wounds, let Jesus bandage them. Allow time to let them heal. Let Him pour His balm on them. And, one day, they will be scars—like the ones on His hands, feet and side. Healed in active service to the Father and for us. God bless! ! Maranatha!