Living Out Loud: Aging and Widowhood

I am not certain how much I really have to say. Ok, wait…that is absolutely NOT true…The truth is I have a LOT to say, but no one listens. I feel it’s due to several factors, but I only want to address two of them in today’s blog—age and widowhood.

Aging isn’t the easy, transitional phase it’s cracked up to be. It’s difficult, it’s often painful and it’s rough. When I look at the end of my sleeve and see my Mother’s hand, it’s still kind of a shock. I have to almost brace myself to even look at my feet because of my curly Dad-like toes. And when I look in the mirror and see one more sag in my Grandad’s turkey neck, well, let’s just throw in the towel and call the day complete.

I’m not sure where to even begin with widowhood. People automatically relegate us into a club, of “poor little thing” and don’t know what to do with us. It’s awkward, and I want to scream, “Look me in the face when your talking to me and treat me like you treat everyone else, why don’t ya!” I haven’t tested this, but I have a theory—if I said half of what I actually wanted to say to the awkward well-wishers, I would be banned from church as a pagan infidel and put in a padded room, where people would still look at me and say, “poor little thing.” It’s not that I’m above throwing down the widow card when dealing with…oh say Comcast. I feel I’m justified there because their consumer plans are designed to place you on hold for 20 minutes and sell you plans that you neither need nor want. I just that I want to be viewed as an entire whole, and not just one part. I hope this makes sense to someone else besides me. Fellow widows out there, can I get a witness?

As we age, we gain wisdom. We gain strength. We gain courage. It takes some grit and guts to look our aging selves in the face and slap that lipstick on every morning. It takes courage to unclog a drain or a toilet for the first time because that was the hubby’s job. It takes determination to LIVE. It takes perseverance to recover from loss. And it takes a great deal of God in the mix to pick up our spiritual weapons and soldier on.

We are not invisible. We are seen. We are heard. We are loved. We are embraced by the most powerful and loving force in the universe—Father God. He listens. He sees. He loves. And in the midst of the turmoil of aging and widowhood, He is never awkward. He understands loss. And he understands US!

I am writing this today without a shred of awkwardness, without a minutiae of shame or guilt. I am writing this because I have something to say. I have a voice to be heard and I am using my platform to speak. You have things to say as well. Use YOUR platform and do not be silenced! Do not let people shut you up or shut you down. Keep speaking. Keep pushing. You are not too old. You are not too young. You are not too widowed. You are not too single. You are not too married. You are just right and the world needs to hear YOUR voice. Speak. And let the glorious freedom begin…