Deconstructing Christmas

My family and I celebrate Christmas the weekend before Christmas Day. What that means when you live alone is Christmas (for me at least) is over before it even begins. .

My time with my family is the most precious thing in the world. Christmas is not only about the birth of Christ, but it’s about spending time with those you love, sharing Gods love with others, and celebrating life. That’s the plus side. The downside is the days between the weekend and Christmas Day are really, really long. I no longer have same holiday spirit others have leading up to Christmas Day. I usually see my family on Christmas Day evening, but it’s not the same as having the grands come to my house, eating a home cooked meal, opening gifts and stockings, and playing games until we’re all worn out. That is a priceless gift each year, and I treasure it. The dilemma comes now in the days in between.

In order to fill those days, I plan a few activities, eating a meal with friends, attending church, making ornaments, etc. These are fun activities and I enjoy spending time with others and who doesn’t need one more handmade ornament? Still, I do one thing that most would consider weird…I start taking down my Christmas decorations.

I decorate extravagantly for Christmas. I have 5 small trees scattered throughout the house, 3 tiny trees, garlands, nativity sets, wreaths, table runners, and everything else you can think of and a few you probably can’t. It takes an entire day and sometimes two or three to fully decorate my condo, and my condo isn’t that large. I also decorate early, like right after Halloween. Yes, I was one of THOSE people who start planning Christmas in July and don’t shut up about it until January 1. No more. Now, immediately after my day with the kids, I start taking down a tree or two. Or three. I work on this a little every day until I only have my nativity scene and one small tree left up on Christmas Day.

Most people won’t understand this, but if you’ve suffered a loss, maybe you will. You see, I feel things pretty keenly this time of year, and especially since I just lost my mom, the holiday cheer is starting to get to me this year just a little bit. I wanted to remove most of the decorations so I could just focus on the nativity. In my zeal to make things “merry and bright”, I can’t forget the Reason for the Season. I would probably remove everything except the nativity if it wasn’t for the grandkids thinking I was a Grinch.

I feel like I’ve deconstructed Christmas down to its basest form. I’ve removed the trappings of festivus and kept the lowly birth of the manger. I’m trying to keep my eye on the ball here, even in the midst of my grief over my mother. I’m wondering about Joseph. How did he feel about becoming a father of a child that wasn’t his? And Mary…was she terrified of childbirth? Did she ever doubt the words of the angel? The shepherds…They were simple men, earthy men who must’ve surely made it a practice to occupy and entertain themselves in the night watches of sheep guarding. What did they talk about on those late nights? Surely not every night involved saving the sheep from a ravenous wolf. These were all real flesh and blood people. They must’ve had doubts, fears, troubles. They also must’ve had joy, happiness, peace. They were human with human needs and wants. Jesus was the only God/Man in the mix. The precious baby was born in the basest of circumstances only to become the highest King of eternity and of our hearts.

This is deconstructing Christmas. This is focusing on the Christ child and the events of His birth. And we can’t focus on the child without focusing on the Savior, born to die, born to live. I know my explanation of this sounds like I’m doing something really spiritual and ecclesiastical. Don’t think that. This started for purely selfish reasons—it made me feel better about being alone. It gave me an activity to do instead of brooding about the future. It kept my hands busy instead of piling up on the couch with self-pty. Don’t get me wrong—I think whatever gets us though the holidays is perfectly fine to do. However, this year, I stopped trying to make myself feel better by adding another wreath or making another tiny tree. Focusing on the circumstances surrounding the birth of Jesus is a good alternative to the blues.

As of this writing, I have one more tree and one tiny tree left up in my home. They will mostly likely be gone by Christmas Eve, leaving only the nativity. And of course, Henry the Bear, who is currently sitting on top of my bookcase with reindeer antlers on his head and a ukulele in his paw. Since all the presents are gone, he had to find a new resting place, and the floor seemed inappropriate for such a distinguished gentleman. The two of us will muddle our way through Christmas, one day at a time, and our joy will be full.

God bless you, my dear readers, and may your Christmas be merry and bright with the light of Jesus!