The Broadman Hymnal And Memory Lane

“My spirit pants for Thee, O Living Word.” (Taken from the song “Break Thou The Bread of Life”)

I am sitting here on my couch at 5:00 this morning, just me and Trixie, listening to old hymns on Pandora. Well, I’m listening and Trixie is sleeping, which is something I wish I was doing. I was mostly just sitting here thinking about trying to cop a little snooze before the day started. Then, this song started playing. I haven’t heard “Break Thou The Bread of Life” since my days as a teenager at Temple Baptist Church.

One of my memories of that time in my life is listening to the choir at Temple Baptist Church. I can clearly remember Mom and Dad singing their hearts out. Daddy sang bass and Momma didn’t sing tenor, but alto. They frequently sang in church, at funerals and weddings (why did I just put those two together), and any other occasion that required two melodious voices to make perfect harmony. It is a pleasant memory.

Apparently, I could ramble around all day about that without getting to the point, which is this: How much does our spirit actually pant for God? I just asked myself this question, and if I ask myself that question, it’s pretty much a guarantee, it’s gonna show up here in this blog. I can’t question myself all alone. Gotta share the quest, people.

The word “panting” means to “breathe with short breaths, typically from excitement or exertion.” How much am I exerting myself in an effort to build my relationship with Jesus? How excited am I to meet Him in the early morning or late in the evening? My answer is not excited enough, my friends. Not exerting myself enough, either, for that matter. My theory is we’re mostly exerting ourselves when it’s convenient, and we’re excited when we feel goosebumps. I am not criticizing. I believe with all my heart that most of us WANT a good solid relationship with God. But, how many times in the last month can we say we actually “panted” like a deer for the stream? For myself, the answer would have to be this: Not Nearly Enough.

Pandora has just segued into “His Eye Is On The Sparrow.”. And as I’ve procrastinated over writing this, it’s now playing “It Is a Well With My Soul.” Both of these songs were my Dad’s personal favorites, so by proxy, they’re two of MY personal favorites. It seems to me the writers of these old hymns knew God in a way that makes me envious. They weren’t wishy-washy about their faith. They suffered personal tragedy, yet they could pen the words “it is well with my soul.” I think I’ve had personal tragedy and so have some of you. Yet, sometimes I feel like His eye is on anything but this little sparrow here in East Tennessee. My soul is often feels chaotic, and my spirit doesn’t pant enough. In fact, my spirit often says “I’m tired and I just want sleep.” But, maybe the writers of these hymns felt that way too. After all, they are mostly remembered only for the hymn itself, and not their daily activity. We don’t know about the other 364 days of their lives. I’m sure they wept, screamed, lost sleep, and felt like giving up many, many times. But they didn’t, and neither will we. We will spiritually “pant”, and we will proclaim “it is well,” because “His eye is on the sparrow.” And that’s more than enough.