Fear No Evil

This week, I’m attempting to set things up for my podcast. By “things” I mean learning how to operate the computer software and familiarize myself with the microphone. I am not literate in this area. But, never one to fear asking questions, I am attempting to learn and trying hard not to be intimidated by that red microphone wind screen that continues to stare at me like a blind cyclops.

One thing about being a widow—every single challenging thing I’ve had to do since Greg’s passing always leads me to these words—“I’ve survived worse.” The microphone may do its worse, but it’s not viewing death up close and personal. That seems like a weird way to look at things, but in some strange universe, that works for me. I know in my heart of hearts, even though it’s challenging, it won’t kill me.  If I fail, my entire world will not change. It’s just a microphone. It’s not cancer and it’s not death itself.

Having walked through the “valley of the shadow of death,” (Psalm 23) I can truly say, in some way that most likely makes no sense to anyone but me, “I will fear no evil.” It’s not that I never get afraid. I certainly do. But being a widow has somehow brought out my inner daredevil. I sometimes feel like I’m channeling Evel Knievel or some other bus jumping dude. If you’re not familiar with Evel Kenievel, Google can help you with that. Famous in his day for jumping buses, tractor trailers and even a river, Evel Knievel was an American icon who was, of course, kinda crazy.  He was fearless on his motorcycle, and I can remember watching his stunts in awe when I was a kid. Well, whenever my inner “Knievel” is manifesting itself, it makes me curious about the man himself. Did he face some tragedy at a young age that made him get on that bike and sail through the air like a shooting star? Or was he just plain crazy as a Bessie bug?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I only know that once a person has witnessed  death, once a person has lost a loved one, there are changes that take place inside your heart and inside your spirit. Some good. Some not so good. Some have to be wrangled back where they belong. And some need to be set free. I read this saying once and it’s funny (of course), but it’s pertinent...”Swallow a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” While this may not be strictly true, the principle behind it is absolutely factual. Being a widow means I have survived that which did not kill me. Being a cancer survivor means YOU survived that which did not kill YOU. Living a full, rich life, walking with God, viewing the future without fear—these are things we can all accomplish, no matter our circumstances. I don’t quite have the hang of this yet, but I work on it a little every day.

The key seems simplistic—let God guide you. When we are afraid, or discouraged, lonely, despairing, broken, sick, hopeless, and lost, we have to turn to the One who knows the way home. There are many paths we can take, but only One path leads us into peace, joy, hope, healing, goodness, kindness, and rest. Will we still have fear at times? Of course we will. We’re human. But the fear will no longer control nor define us. It’s merely an obstacle to overcome, and not an insurmountable mountain, 37 buses to jump over,  a raging river to cross, nor is it a microphone. It’s an obstacle placed in our way to keep us paralyzed. If we’re paralyzed, we’re not moving and if we’re not moving, we’re not advancing forward, nor is God’s Kingdom.

How do we overcome fear? The answer is different for everyone because fears are different for everyone. But there is One constant: Jesus. If we place Him in the center of our lives, the rest becomes a little more brighter, a little more hopeful, a little more peaceful, a little more healing. Even during the most agonizing pain in our lives, we can still have no fear because God is with us. Take that, you foul microphone!