Life Coaching: Express Yourself

Today I am taking a little poll. How many of you have lost someone you love? How has that loss impacted your life? Are you more or less likely to move outside your comfort zone because of that loss?

We often hear this phrase “don’t be afraid to tell people you love them.” In fact, I have spoken the phrase and I’ve written that phrase more than once. I believe that phrase. Yet, we are often terrified of doing that very thing because the consequences of speaking up can cause pain. I don’t like pain and neither does anyone else I know.

Thw reality is when we tell someone we love them, we cannot know the outcome of that declaration until it leaves our lips and lands on the ears of the person we’re speaking with. We can’t know their response ahead of time. I wonder, though, if we DID somehow know the outcome would be good, would saying “I love you” to someone for the first time hold the same thrill? I rather doubt it.

I am speaking today to those who may be needing to open up about their feelings. Not just love, but hurt, anger, confusion, sorrow, and ambivalence. These are strong emotions as well. And they each carry equal weight when spoken out loud. Words matter. Feelings matter. Connection matters.

Telling someone you love them or are angry at them involves risk—risk we aren’t always willing to take because we’re human and we like to be liked. And with the speaking of confusion and hurt comes the possibility of rejection. And nobody wants that. We humans were created for community; and while some of us do that better than others, we all need each other.

Today I am challenging you to take one of the questions in the opening paragraph and think of a specific person to which it pertains. Write down the question and formulate the answer. Do you need to tell someone you’re angry? Do you need to express your hurt or confusion? Conversely, do you need to express your love or serenity to them? If so, pray about it and act. Feelings that fester inside can wreak havoc upon the human soul and the eternal spirit. Ask God to give you the words to say this Christmas season.

God bless!