Life Coaching: Express Yourself

Today I am taking a little poll. How many of you have lost someone you love? How has that loss impacted your life? Are you more or less likely to move outside your comfort zone because of that loss?

We often hear this phrase “don’t be afraid to tell people you love them.” In fact, I have spoken the phrase and I’ve written that phrase more than once. I believe that phrase. Yet, we are often terrified of doing that very thing because the consequences of speaking up can cause pain. I don’t like pain and neither does anyone else I know.

Thw reality is when we tell someone we love them, we cannot know the outcome of that declaration until it leaves our lips and lands on the ears of the person we’re speaking with. We can’t know their response ahead of time. I wonder, though, if we DID somehow know the outcome would be good, would saying “I love you” to someone for the first time hold the same thrill? I rather doubt it.

I am speaking today to those who may be needing to open up about their feelings. Not just love, but hurt, anger, confusion, sorrow, and ambivalence. These are strong emotions as well. And they each carry equal weight when spoken out loud. Words matter. Feelings matter. Connection matters.

Telling someone you love them or are angry at them involves risk—risk we aren’t always willing to take because we’re human and we like to be liked. And with the speaking of confusion and hurt comes the possibility of rejection. And nobody wants that. We humans were created for community; and while some of us do that better than others, we all need each other.

Today I am challenging you to take one of the questions in the opening paragraph and think of a specific person to which it pertains. Write down the question and formulate the answer. Do you need to tell someone you’re angry? Do you need to express your hurt or confusion? Conversely, do you need to express your love or serenity to them? If so, pray about it and act. Feelings that fester inside can wreak havoc upon the human soul and the eternal spirit. Ask God to give you the words to say this Christmas season.

God bless!

The Fussy Baby

I had the pleasure of babysitting my two grandsons this week. Let me just say right now for the record...they are the most wonderful humans on the face of this planet. This statement is not up for debate.  

Grandson Number 1 is an eight year old and Grandson Number 2 is a 6 month old. just enough age difference to be...interesting. For some reason, Grandson Number 2 was fussy. I tried feeding, rocking, patting, burping, and singing. My singing abilities are limited to “Beautiful Boy” by John Lennon or “Hey Lawdy Momma” by Steppenwolf. No wonder the kid was upset. Nothing I did soothed him. He continued to fret, wiggle and whine. 

When I finally found something he liked enough to stop crying (it was laying in the floor with him, sticking my tongue out and going “booga, booga, booga”...yeah...go figure), the little rascal had worn me out. I was tired, and by then, I was the one ready for a nap.  

I wonder if we ever sound that way to God? I have said some pretty awful things to Him over the years. Did I sound like the fussy baby? Did I make Him want to pull the hair out of His beard (well, figuratively speaking. Don’t we all imagine God with a white beard, though?) Did I wear both myself and God out with the sound of my relentless whine?  I am grateful He has more patience that I do. 

God has never sang Steppenwolf to me. Nor has He ever said, “booga booga booga.” He has done something much better than that. You see, me doing those things to soothe Grandson Number 2 were only a temporary fix. He will cry again and, in fact, he started crying as soon as I stopped. But when God wipes away those tears, He brings something eternal with Him—His Son, Jesus. And while I may cry again, He never leaves  me. He moves into our hearts and stays there and makes His home there. And when He calms our cries, we can take comfort in the fact that He will always be with us when we cry. He never puts us down. He never goes into the kitchen to fix us a bottle. He never closes His eyes when we nap. He gives us something better than a pacifier. He gives us Himself. He will bear our burdens for us, fight for us, sing over us, guard us, help us, and most of all—love us. 

May we be comforted with His love and mercy every day we live. May that comfort be more satisfying than a mother (or in my case, a Grammie) holding her child lovingly in her arms.