Life Coaching: Thunder and Whispers

By His Spirit He adorned the heavens; His hand pierced the fleeing serpent. Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways, And how small a whisper we hear of Him! But the thunder of His power who can understand?

Job 26:13-14

I want to experience more of God, don’t you? We see the majesty of creation and witness the deliverance of his love, but this is just a mere fraction of who God really is. That’s hard to fathom.

I have made it a point in my life to try to discover God, especially the last 15 years. The years prior to that, I ran away a lot. I discovered my way wasn’t doing me or the world any good, so I changed direction. My way only brought disconnect and brokenness. It did nothing to enhance my own life, much less the lives of others.

What about you? What’s your story? How have you viewed God as less than perfect. In what ways have you diminished His power? How have you shared in the fellowship of His suffering? These are not easy questions, and I’m not gonna ask you to bare your soul here on the Internet for all to see. No, I’m gonna ask you to ponder these questions and come up with your own conclusions—Private conclusions between you and God, the Maker of this Universe and all other universes, the Holy One of Israel, the Aleph and the Tav, The Beginning and the End…THAT ONE. Who is He to you?

I am very good at believing God will move on YOUR behalf. I struggle with believing He’s gonna move on MINE! Even though He’s snatched me from harms way time after time again, I still doubt. I still waver. And I still sin. Unfortunately, this fate is the human condition and we won’t be delivered from it until the day we die.

Even though we cannot begin to understand God’s power, we can appreciate it. We can rest in it. And we can depend on it. I don’t know how many angels move on my behalf on a daily basis, but I’m thankful for those big fellows. I often imagine my guardian angel) doing many face palms during the day, because I am sure I keep the big guy on his toes! We have no idea of the spiritual weapons we have at our disposal, and it would probably frighten us half to death if we DID know. All we need to know is that God has power of which we know know nothing. And when He speaks, mountains move. When He hears our desperate cries, circumstances change. When He sees the enemy trying to defeat us, the earth trembles. That’s enough for me.

Life Coaching: Friendship and Widow Recovery

Being a widow makes me think a little differently than folks who haven’t suffered the loss of a loved one. For example, I view friendship in an entirely new and different light. I value my friends. I no longer take them for granted. I nurture them. I protect them. I growl like a grizzly bear when someone dares to offend one of them. I think I always valued my friends, but widowhood somehow brought out a whole new level of grizzly bear.

The Bible says quite a lot about friendship. It’s perfectly modeled as the friendship between Peter, James, John and Jesus. These three men were the “inner circle.” Somehow, these three dudes were always hanging around when Jesus was about to pray, transform, teach, or work a miracle. I can only conclude they were either passionately curious, or passionately committed. They wanted to be where Jesus was. They wanted to hang out with Him. They wanted to see His miracles. They wanted to walk where He walked. Why? Here are a few reasons:

1. Jesus showed them unconditional love. Jesus wasn’t afraid to tell them the hard truth. When we love someone, sometimes that’s absolutely necessary to keep them from harm. Unconditional love is just that—no boundaries, no restrictions, no rules. It’s extravagant in it’s passion, and abundant in it’s glory.

2. Jesus accepted them just like they were. He didn’t try to change them. In fact, He called James and John “Sons of Thunder.” He didn’t say, “Oh by the way, you can no longer be known by that name if you follow Me.” No, he called them by the nickname and appeared to take some degree of humor in the fact that these two were rather quick tempered.

3. He forgave them when they made a misstep. Jesus was a quick forgiver, and He still is today. He doesn’t hold our sin over our heads, waiting to beat us for making poor decisions, being misguided, or just outright sinning. He gathers us up in His arms and forgives us, even in the midst of our mess.

Now, connecting friendship with widowhood…when your spouse dies, you are left with a gaping hole inside you, whether or not you had a good marriage, a bad marriage, or a mediocre marriage. We long to fill that hole, and oftentimes, we try to fill it with things that just aren’t good for us, because the thing we were joined to is broken, permanently, in this world. So often, instead of asking God to fill that need, we act out in other ways. We form unreliable alliances with unworthy people, we cut ourselves off from the ones who love us, and we neglect both God and ourselves. This is a natural part of the grieving process, and it takes some effort to NOT do this. However, if we press on, and make the connection with people who love us, make new friends, and talk to God, the reward is that we make lasting connections with friends who become like our families.

To my friends who have stuck with me through both good times and bad, thank you. You are my peeps. You are my tribe. You are my heart. God bless!

A few of my peeps on a road trip last weekend…

Life Coaching: Unrequited Love

 “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”

Leviticus 19:18

I don’t want to get on a soapbox today. Or any other day. I want to live my life, be a disciple and be left alone. But I don’t think it works that way... 

Love is a verb. It denotes action. It resonates with excitement. It reverberates with movement, whether physical movement or heart movement, it doesn’t matter. Movement is movement.  We, as Christians, are called to do this messy, ridiculous, unappreciated thing called love. And we are called to embrace it.  

There are many forms of love—friendship love, sexual love, enamored love, God-like love, and the saddest of all, unrequited love. If you’ve never suffered from unrequited love, be thankful. It’s the one type of love whose actions leave a mark—a broken, beaten, bloody heart, from which only God and time can heal. 

As j write this today, I am struck by how much God’s love and unrequited love have in common. Jesus’s Death on the cross was the ultimate act of love. I mean, can it get any more forceful than someone dying for you? I submit that it absolutely cannot. To die for another is not only physical love in action, but spiritual as well. And why did Jesus do this...so humanity could largely reject Him and die unregenerate and unrepentant. Yes, He knows the pain of unrequited love, all right. He knows it very well. 

But just as He knows that pain, He also know the joy when we respond to His love. He knows the exhilaration of just one simple soul crawling up in His lap and saying, “Help me.” He knows the loving sorrow as He bows His head and out His arm around us as we walk away from the grave of a loved one. He know the unbridled joy of one of His children running into His arms just because they can. He knows. And He understands. 

So, knowing all this, what are we gonna do about it? If God loves us, fully knowing that some of us are gonna hate and despise Him, yet loving anyway, how can we emulate that? We have to start small. Take a meal to a sick friend. Hold someone’s hand in the hospital waiting room. Talk to the mother with the screaming child in line at Walmart. Engage in dialogue with an unbeliever and ask them “why.” In other words, think outside the box and do the uncomfortable thing that none of us want to do. We can start today. 

Life Coaching: The Real Game of Thrones

The Jews put all their enemies to the sword, killing and destroying them. They did what they pleased to those who hated them. Esther 9:5

Brutal verse, isn’t it? The Bible is full of such verses. Of course, when you read the backstory on this verse, it’s full of enough trickery and castle intrigue to rival Game of Thrones. The Jewish nation was about to fall victim to a plot—a plot to wipe them from the face of the planet. Only an intervention from the king could save them, and King Ahasuerus did indeed intervene. He commanded for them to take up arms and defend themselves. They did and the rest is history. There is much more to this story, but for brevity’s sake, just go read the book of Esther if you’re curious. 

The second part of that verse is what I want to concentrate on today and look at it from a strictly spiritual, modern-day Christianity point of view—“They did what they pleased to those who hated them.” Is this verse advocating violence to those who hate you? Not at all. Rather, it’s letting us know that no matter how you live your life, good or bad, there are always gonna be people who hate you, and the devil is the number one enemy of our souls. But, and here’s the thing, we cannot and will not allow him to win. The ultimate goal of the devil is to take our life. He will kill us if he can, and short of that, he wants to make our lives miserable because that glorifies him and does  nothing to glorify God, whom he hates. He plots against us, much like Haman plotted against Queen Esther’s people, the Jews. When you plot to take out an entire race of people, that’s wicked indeed. 

Now, let’s fast forward that several thousand years...this type of thinking is still prevalent today. We see one group wanting to annihilate another, often over religion, but the reasons vary. At the heart of it all is our common enemy—Satan. He is a wily rascal, isn’t he? Wile E. Coyote has nothing on him. Satan causes division everywhere he goes, because he is the father of lies, murder and hatred. We need to recognize that and act accordingly. Satan is the common enemy of mankind, and we often do not see it because we become blinded by our own emotions. It’s easy to do. 

In this case, the Jewish people acted this way in order to escape annihilation from the hand of wicked Haman. We must be just a ruthless when we are escaping our spiritual enemy—the devil. If we give him free reign in our lives, it leads to nothing good, because you see, he wants to do with us as he pleases because He HATEA US! 

Then there’s this verse from the New Testament... “But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen and guard you from the evil one..” 2 Thessalonians 3:3

This verse gives us assurance that God strengthens and guard us from the enemy.  No matter how the enemy comes after us, God gives us strength to overcome him and be victorious. Do we always feel victorious? Definitely not. Sometimes we feel defeated and worthless. Bit feelings are not always an indication of TRUTH! If indeed God is faithful, then if He truly loves His children, He will give us His strength and guard us when the enemy tries to steal our joy, peace, comfort, patience, and justiceS 

There is an aspect of vindication in the book of Esther, just as the same aspect is in 2 Thessalonians. We read the Bible as One Book—no separation between the Old and the New. It’s a story of passion, deception, redemption, motivation, betrayal, and resurrection. It’s a story of war and peace. It’s a story of love and hate. But love ALWAYS wins. Every.single.time. 

Life Coaching: Hide And Seek With God

Jeremiah 29:13-14 When you seek me, you will find me, provided you seek for me wholeheartedly; and I will let you find me,’ says Adonai. Complete Jewish Translation.

This verse made me cry this morning. When God said, “I will let you find me,” I just couldn’t help myself. It made me remember all the times I played hide-and-seek with my daughter, and with my grandson. As parents (and grandparents), I would hide with one of two purposes: 1) I would hide in an obvious spot so they would be certain to find me; or 2) I would hide somewhere they wouldn’t think of and sneak back to “home” before they found me. They hated the later, but it fostered creative thinking on their part. It made them think outside the box, and the next time we played, that was the place they looked first (which kinda fostered creative thinking on my part as to where was I gonna hide next). 

Our relationship with God is exactly like that. As a parent, He hides where He is easily found  because He WANTS us to find Him. And, at times, we have to search Him out, not necessarily because He’s moved, but because we do. 

God  doesn’t have to let us find Him. He could easily conceal Himself for eternity if He so desired.  But He LETS us find Him because He WANTS TO BE FOUND! He likes it. He takes joy when one of His children falls into His arms and says, “Gotcha!” It reveals our desire to seek Him, ask His counsel, and spend time with Him.   The feeling I got when my grandson would say, “I see you, Grammie” was one I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It was wonderful. 

And those times when God is a little more difficult to find? We have to keep looking. We have to search Him out. We have to patiently and prayerfully hunt until we find. And we will definitely find. Because God has not moved. He’s right at home base. We sometimes can’t see Him because of our own blindness or because He wants us to learn to be a better seeker. My grandson is a much better searcher than he used to be.  Of course, now that he’s a grand total of eight years old, he thinks he’s too old for hide-and-seek. But he’s apparently not too old to hide from his Grammie and jump out at her from behind a door, thereby scaring said Grammie half to death...But even this small, playful act reflects a desire to be found! How boring it would be if he hid in a closet for an hour, waiting for me to walk by, and I just sat on the couch reading a book. No, he knows I’m gonna start hunting for him pretty soon, and that’s what motivates him to get behind the door and pounce on me as I walk by. 

When we are desperately searching for answers from God, we will find Him. We may not understand the “why” but we can always find the “Who.” There is no instance recorded in the Bible of someone searching for God and coming away empty handed. None. And neither will we, if we ask, seek, and knock. 

Life Coaching: Seeing The World Through Different Eyes

I have had a growth spurt on my YouTube channel lately. I am very grateful for that because I know God was really moving on my behalf!  With that growth, however, comes a degree of strangeness.  

Case in point: I had a rather random message from a guy who asked me if my vision was bad enough to really need my glasses.   First off, I hate glasses. All they do is slip down my nose and get smudged. And secondly, who would want to wear glasses all the time if they didn’t have to? And thirdly, they rub my nose and leave red patches on the side of my face. Yeah, not a fan...so me being me, I decided to take a look at his YouTube channel to see if he was an optometrist or something...maybe I could get a discount on my glasses.  Lord knows the things are expensive enough...at any rate, I digress. I am gonna leave this right here, but since eyeglasses have little to nothing to do with my channel, I figured he must have been just surfing and commenting...which is perfectly fine. 

We sometimes encounter things that are unfamiliar to us. Not everyone thinks like we do, nor should they. How boring the world would be! We go through our lives in our own little world, connecting with like-minded people, and forget there’s an entire world out there that thinks it’s okay to eat pineapple on a pizza...

I’m not saying to embrace sin or sketchy behavior. Don’t do that. But it’s perfectly fine to see something from someone’s perspective other than our own. Even though there are people we may never connect with on a deep emotional level (and to be honest, there are some people we don’t NEED to connect with that way), we can acknowledge our differences, smile and move on. There is nothing wrong with silence. There is peace in taking the high road sometimes. And there is contentment in knowing God is on His throne. 

Life Coaching: Broken Phones and Repetitious Habits

Help me, Jesus, I am sick again! My daughter called it a rebound effect, but it sure feels like the full on sinus infestation has crawled back into my head!  Pray for me, my friends! It’s not looking pretty!  

I am a serial iPhone dropper. I have dropped my phone so many times, it has perpetual cracks in the case. I have replaced the glass cover three times, the last time after sticking it in my pocket and a piece of glass stuck in my backside. That one was a difficult one to explain. I was at the baseball field, and our team had just struck out. I jumped up and screamed, “Ouch!” I am convinced that people thought it was a response to the strike out...which is fine by me. The truth is even more embarrassing...

Do you have repetitious things you do over and over again? What are they? How do you respond to them? How has that affected your life? In my case, my phone randomly changes the words on my keyboard to the most outlandish things imaginable. Case in point: it just changed “random” (a perfectly good word) to Rodanthe. Who in their right mind uses “Rodanthe” in a sentence? I have no plans to visit and it doesn’t even make sense in context. I know iPhones randomly (!) do this but it’s gotten much worse after the last time I dropped it face first onto the sidewalk. Ok, so I know that’s bad, but I’m clumsy as an “ox,” which this phone just tried to change to “ice.”  Grrrr....

In the midst of my cold medicine “induced” state (which this phone just tried to change to “inducted mention”...yeah, figure THAT one out), this makes no sense even to me and I’m the one writing it...I feel I am on the cusp for a new phone, a dilemma I have caused myself from my sheer clumsiness. 

Have you ever felt that you have caused your own discomfort? In what way? I’m gonna turn on the comments, and I’m asking you to leave a reply. You don’t have to get real personal because after all, this is the “Internet” (which the phone just tried to spell “interim), but I would love to see your response. I know one thing...even if I cause my own messes, God helps me out of them! He might not give me a brand new iPhone for free (doggone it), but He will supply what I need.   And that’s enough for today. And tomorrow and the next day...

Life Coaching 101: Getting Real About Our Flaws

I was frustrated last week.  My insurance business has been very slow, I had to go to the doctor, and Trixie needs a bath. Ok, so on the face of things, this is pretty mundane, but doggone it, a girl’s gotta vent somewhere, so here I go, venting to you good people. However, on the total flip side, my YouTube channel is growing like crazy and I’m pretty doggone happy about that. I guess it pretty much outweighs my frustration, and I’ll write a blog about it for Friday. Today, I’m writing about frustration, mainly because I perceive it may help others to not be frustrated! 

I don’t like to be frustrated because it ignites a desire to cuss. Cussing is something I absolutely struggle with, and something I have never truly overcome as a Christian. I try, and I do really good for a few weeks, or a few days or a few hours. Oh heck, a few minutes, if I’m being entirely honest. But let just one blithering idiot pull out in front of me in traffic...well, Katie bar the door and close the window...colorful metaphors just seem to fly unbidden from my lips. Maybe not entirely unbidden...it takes some energy to come up with a good colorful metaphor...I never like to repeat myself, because I feel each offender deserves a newly inspired stream of “God Bless America,” which is a polite way of saying whatever else is on my tongue at that given moment...

I have seriously tried to break this habit over the years, but I’m not getting any younger and the little patience I have left is worn mighty thin.  In fact, it seems almost nonexistent sometimes. My tongue is raw from biting it. I’m much better than I used to be, but still not great at restraint in this area...Why am I writing about this, you might ask. Well, I’ll tell ya...I think Christians do their best to hide their flaws from one another to the point they’re dishonest about who they really are. I’m not proud of the fact that my language slips a little every now and then, but to conceal that fact about myself really isn’t being transparent about my struggle, now is it? If we don’t talk to one another about our failings, what does that say about trust in the body of Christ? I don’t think it says anything good and I’m really quite sick of it. I’m tired to death of talking to other Christians who spit rainbows and sneeze unicorns. Life isn’t like that. Yes, we are overcomers and we lead victorious lives, but we ALL have issues. Every single one of us. I just confessed one of mine, and we all need to do the same. We can’t pray for deliverance for one another if we don’t know what we are praying for deliverance from! Look, I’m not saying anything counter to the Word of God and I’m certainly not glorifying foul language. What I’m doing, though, is making a call to arms. If you have a struggle, confess it to a brother or sister and get prayer for it. Stop trying to be Mr. or Mrs. Holier Than Thou. We are all in this wonderfully messy life together! We might as well enjoy God and enjoy one another. He is quick to forgive and we need to be as well. He’s confidential, and we need to emulate that. He’s actively present in our conversations, and we desperately need to reflect that with one another! It’s really not much more difficult than that.  We strive for perfection,, when in reality, we have left behind something much more important...our humility. 

If you have a raging desire to cuss after reading this blog, then I have miscommunicated very badly. Rather than thinking about me and those pesky four letter words, think about how you can be a better brother or sister to someone in need today. How can we listen when someone is desperate? How can we keep our mouths shut when people are right up in our grill espousing things we hate? How can we show Jesus’s love to people who have never heard His Name? These are questions worth pondering. The result? More connection. More love. More empathy. More joy. More peace. More righteousness. And you know what? Less judgment.  

This would be a good time quote that lady on the Ellen DeGeneres Show who said, “I love Jesus, but I cuss a little.” What’s your struggle? Think about it and pray about it. I promise God will show you what it is if you’re mind is blank. He has a way of getting our attention. And He has a way of sweeping aside our smug arrogance in thinking we are doing God a favor by going to church and trying not to cuss, as Frances Chan so succinctly put it in his book “Crazy Love.” God doesn’t want our self righteous posturing. He wants our hearts. He wants our messes so he can transform us. We are all works in progress. Be kind. Be joyful. Live life abundantly. And if we cuss a little on the journey, it’s just one more reason we need Jesus. Peace out. 

5 Ways I Am Exactly Like My Dog

I love my dog. She is a good little companion. But today, I’m wondering if the reason I love her so much is because the dog is exactly like me. To prove my point I numbered the ways just be make it seem more believable... 

1. She hates to get up in the morning. While my last dog, Harley, was up and ready to rumble at 7:00 a.m., Trixie lolls around on the bed until I’m ready to get up. And even then, she does her business and goes back to bed! This morning, I looked around for her and she had went back upstairs and was lounging there like the Queen of Sheba. This is an every day occurrence. The sad part is I would be the same way if I didn’t have to go to work! I love to lounge and read in the mornings. I scroll, I watch TV, I pray, and I try to do as good a job as I can of not worrying about the day. I am still struggling with that one...

2.  She is exuberant. Ok, I’d love to say she gets this one on her own, but, in fact, I am exuberant in the extreme. New ideas float across my brain daily—well, actually moment by moment—and I just have to get them all out! Oh how I wish I could change this about myself, and Trixie, God bless her little soul, has seemingly inherited that trait. She stands on her hind legs and jumps at the least little hint of excitement and paws the air as if to say, “Look! Squirrel!! Mamma, I love you! Walk me! Feed me! Love me!” Yep, she’s me all right... 

3. She will work for food. I have never seen a dog this motivated by food. She will do almost anything for a meal or even a “cookie” which is what I call her dog biscuits. The dog could put away an entire box of Milk Bones and not even blink. She once climbed through the pass through window in my living room, onto my kitchen counters and ate an entire bowl of sausage grease. And it didn’t even phase her. Cast iron stomach right there now. I am much the same. I would sell my soul for a box of donuts or a gallon of Dutch Chocolate ice cream. Yeah...that’s me all right...  

4. She barks but has very little bite. When my neighbor just peeps a toe outside, Trixie is on high alert, protecting our home from the mild mannered millennial whom she is certain is going to lead us to our deaths. The dog growls and barks like she’s gonna eat him up, but then melts into a puddle of goo when he reaches over the fence and pets her. If I actually did have a burglar, she might growl, but she’d fix them a sandwich and hand over the family jewels (if there were any). Ditto Mamma. I might growl a little, but I dissolve into same mushy goo when confronted by a friendly gesture. A little kindness goes a long way with both doggie and Mamma. 

5. We both love easily. I have a friend whom this dog loves beyond measure. When they come over, she immediately stands on her hind legs, paws the air and generally makes a nuisance of herself until they give her their undivided attention. To continue the adoration, she gazes at them with those big brown eyes and rolls over on her back for a belly rub.  While I haven’t had a belly rub in a long time (maybe I wouldn’t growl so much if I had one...hummm), I DO like to show affection. I like cuddles. This picture is starting to look rather bleak, actually...

Maybe I should just dye my hair black and call myself her twin. Right now, the spoiled rotten canine is at the back door, growling like a she wolf and looking out the window at the neighbor. If I let her outside, I see belly rubs in the near future. For her, not me. Because when she comes back inside, she will beg for a cookie, roll over on her back and look expectantly at me. I would love to be the person my dog thinks I am...and I’m trying hard. 

God bless!  

Princess Trixie Belle

Life Coaching: When God Whispers In Your Ear

I have had a rather unusual day today. A lot happened that was unexpected, but mostly in a good kind of way. I did have to go to the doctor early this morning, and that wasn’t such a good moment, but all in all, a pretty good day today! More about that at a later date…

Do you sometimes just get the feeling God has you on His mind? I got that distinct feeling today, and it had been a rather long time since I’d felt that way. Don’t get me wrong…I know God has helped me with everything I have done in my life. It had just been a while since I’d had a personal visit. I am frankly suspicious of people who frequently say, “God told me…” followed by some seemingly amazing revelation pertinent only to them, and always works out in their favor. I mean, if God has such a running conversation with them, why doesn’t He tell them about an earth-shattering event, like world hunger or something? I know that sounds rather cynical, but I sometimes think people use the term, “God told me” too loosely. I am not doubting God’s ability to speak to someone any way He chooses. I am, however, doubting our ability to effectively hear that well.

I suppose I’m judging it by my own personal experience of walking with God over the years. Yes, God has impressed upon heart numerous times in both comfort and encouragement, but rarely has it been to a point where I can say, “God said.” Today was a day I really perceived God was trying to tell me something, and I am extremely happy to say, I listened. I actually stopped what I was doing right in the middle of the doctor’s waiting room, closed my eyes and listened. What He had to say wasn’t necessarily earth-shattering, but it sure was a comfort to me. It took away fear and restored my hope in a certain situation, and let me know He had heard my cries for help. I knew He was there all along, but it sure was a comfort to actually discern His voice.

If you have heard God whisper in your ear, you know what I’m talking about. It’s a perception. It’s an insight. It’s a distinct piercing through the cloud of doubt and fear that leaves you feeling confident and full of joy and hope for the future. There is nothing quite like it. Today I perceived God had seen my struggle, had seen my faithfulness, and was pleased. Even though I know I’ve had doubts, fears, and outright unbelief, He saw that I didn’t give up on Him. I kept going. That hasn’t always been the case with me. I have given up. I have given in. I have given out. I have quit fighting, and I’ve been defeated. But I do not doubt God’s existence, nor do I doubt His ability. I know who He is, and more importantly, He knows who I am. I am His. I belong to Him. I follow Him and I hear His voice. And when I don’t, it doesn’t mean He isn’t speaking. It means I have to dig into His Word, search out the answer, and move forward with confidence in what He’s already said in the Bible. The book of Proverbs tells us, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.” So, (stay with me here. I’m actually going somewhere with this) if I believe that I am a king and a priest, as stated in the book of Revelation, then there are going to be times when I actually have to search out what I’m looking for.

Things don’t always come easy for us Christians. Sometimes, we actually have to look for what we want. Sometimes, we may have to go on a bit of a journey to find it. Sometimes, it gets dark and lonely on that journey for God’s best for us. But, if we persevere, if we stay the course, what God has concealed, He will eventually reveal. Even though He isn’t always talking, He’s always moving on our behalf. He’s moving heaven and earth to help us, save us, and keep us. I would probably faint if I could see into the spirit realm and see just how many times per day my life is spared because an angel has stopped whatever evil device the enemy has tried to use against me. Or how many times Jesus has interceded for me when I’ve gone rogue…

This is just something to think about today. I wanted to drop something in here for you today to encourage you and lift you up. If you’re feeling discouraged about your life, please take a moment to pray. Ask God to speak to your heart. Ask Him to let you perceive His presence. Ask Him to use His Word to lead you in the right path. He will. He hearkens to the voice of His children. And while we may not always be able to say, “God told me,” we WILL always be able to say, “God heard me.” We will always be able to say, “I perceived God.” We will always be able to say, “God loves me.” We will always be able to say, “God encourages me.”

The Wanderings of a Tired Mind

I am sitting  here at 9:00 on Thursday night and my mind is blank.  I have racked my tiny brain for something meaningful to say, but for the life of me, nothing springs to mind. I suppose I could write about my day, but it’s really boring and frustrating, and who wants to hear about that?  I could tell you about my grandsons baseball game, but they lost, so there’s that...I could write about my comfortable couch, but it just might put me to sleep...

I am hoping I’m not becoming something I hate...boring. Mundane. Bland. The word “bland” even makes me shudder when I say it. Try to say it yourself. Can you speak that word without curling your upper lip and wrinkling your nose like you’re smelling something foul?  Yeah, me neither. It reminds me of cold, unsalted mashed potatoes. Without gravy. 

I can only plead true brain lapse today. I’ve used said brain more than usual, and the ole gal is tired. That happens when I think too much. Or not enough. Or early in the morning. Or late at night. Or on Monday, or Wednesday, or Saturday. Or days that end with a “Y.” Oh heck, I might as well admit it, All.The.Blasted.Time!! Maybe I’ll just fall into a blissful sleep here in a minute, happy from my carb cycling day. I actually ate a couple of guilt free hot dogs and an ice cream cone. I pretty much view dieting like I view life...no life can be complete without ice cream and donuts now and then. 

How about this...I’m gonna drop a Bible verse here for you guys and call it an evening. I’ve struggled with this for a few hours, and this is the best I can do tonight. I know God understands and He surely has a sense of humor. God bless you guys! 

Goodnight! 

“In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Psalm 56:11 

Are You Drawing Your Sword?

John 16:33 - I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]. Amplified Bible

If you have a red letter edition of the Bible, most of this chapter is red. Jesus spoke these words to his disciples. He meant them, and I believe he meant for us to take them seriously. When Jesus would teach and His words seemed to be scary, most of the time, He followed it up with words of comfort. In this chapter, He was speaking specifically about His leaving and the Holy Spirit coming. I’m sure the disciples were not only confused, but scared. Jesus was telling them, even though He was leaving, He was the victor over anything the world would throw at them. 

Jesus tells His disciples to “be undaunted.” Living an undaunted life means to spit in the face of adversity, to rise above roadblocks, and to look beyond the problem to the solution. Do we live like that? Mostly, I feel my life has been lived daunted, with nary a trace of the “un.” I frequently let circumstances dictate how I feel and how I respond. I sometimes get defeated when the enemy whispers in my ear. I frequently get tired. How about you?  But, if we fully embrace the undaunted life, accepting the courageous, bravely marching toward our goal, the arrows of the enemy glancing off our armor, we are truly trusting God with both our lives and our paths. Our paths aren’t always clear. In fact, most of the time, they’re pretty obscure. And sometimes almost impassible. But a few good licks from our swords can cut down the lies of the enemy and when the path opens up before us, it’s a beautiful moment between us and God.

In the Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan admonished Peter to always clean his sword after a battle. I’ve always wondered about that because it seemed like a rather random one-liner  .  But if we take that line and view it in light of the above verse, faith becomes the whetstone on which we sharpen our blades. And when we defeat the enemy, it’s the polishing cleaner to ready the blade for use in the future. If our blades are at the ready, we can live undaunted lives, faces towards the sun (or Son), ready for battle and ready to walk any path that’s set before us. We are truly undaunted, courageous, and mighty warriors. 

Anyone can wield a sword. It takes no expertise to pick up any old sword and start hacking. But learning how to use it properly in battle takes time, faith and finesse. It takes study. It takes practice. It takes application. I remember when I was a young whippersnapper at Temple Baptist Church back in the day. One thing we frequently did when we were in Sunday School was have “Sword drills.” We picked up our Bibles, the teacher called out a random chapter and verse, and the first one to find it was given a point. After you got enough points, you were given a star by your name. in my mind’s eye, I can still see those little stars lined up after my name. My competitive little self always wanted to win because I loved seeing those stars! Even though I am no longer a member of that church, I am so grateful for this lesson because it trained me to be proficient with my Sword. It taught us how to draw our Swords, hold our Swords, use our Swords, and make ready our Swords for the next use. It was a prep school for Life. 

I can no longer move my body as speedily as I once did. My Sword arm gets tired more easily, and occasionally I have to ask myself, “Wait...does Titus come before or after Philemon?” But my heart and mind are NOT rusty. They are sharp, honed, at the ready, for the battle cry.  And even though I feel daunted, I AM NOT! Even if it seems like I get discouraged, I CANNOT!  Even if i get tired, I STOP NOT! Why? Because I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY POSITION OF   VICTORY! And neither should you! Dust off your Sword. Pick it up, even if it feels heavy. Read it. Meditate on it. Mull it over. Pray over it. Act on it. And finally, polish it, so it will always be ready to draw...and defeat.

Even though the enemy tries to crush you, do not relinquish your sword! It’s standing between you and disaster!  

Surviving Widowhood: Brain Fog

The first year after Greg died, I experienced brain fog. Brain fog is very real. Every widow I’ve talked to struggled with it.  And if someone knows a shortcut around it, by all means, speak up. I know of none. It’s something that woke up with me every morning,  went to bed with me at night and even hung around for a midnight snack on those sleepless nights. I’m told it’s normal.  

I sometimes tell other widows that their feelings are perfectly normal, and they are. But I’m beginning to wonder if there’s anything normal at all about being a widow. Don’t get me wrong, I think we need to embrace our uniqueness and love our quirks. But I’m no longer certain that “normal” is the word I need to use to describe our feelings. Maybe “accepted” is a better word, although I’m not sure how to use that in a sentence of comfort unless it’s to say, “You are accepted by God.”  Or maybe the word “standard” would be better. I’m really not a fan of that word, either, because, even though some our experiences as widows may actually BE standard, it doesn’t seem that way. It feels reductive in some way. It seems like everyone else is “normal” and we are the oddballs.

I attribute most of these feelings to brain fog.  Brain fog keeps us from thinking clearly and seeing our circumstances realistically. It can give us a heightened sense of entitlement and prolong our grieving process. It’s an insidious little rascal. I’m gonna list a few things that seem to help, and if you’re experiencing brain fog for the first time, please let me know how this works for you:  

1.  Stop trying to normalize your life. Being a widow isn’t exactly normal. But it IS now part of your life. Embrace it. Acknowledge it. Accept it.  

2. Take advice from people you trust. I’m not advocating blindly doing someone else’s bidding like a Stepford Wife, but I AM saying “seek wise counsel.” Brain fog caused me to make a few poor decisions. Don’t let that be you.   

3. Be kind to yourself. Take a moment to breathe. Don’t push yourself beyond what you are able. Rest, take a walk, go out to dinner, kiss those grandkids, tickle those babies, laugh at yourself.  

While I’m not sure there’s a real cure for widows brain fog, if we focus on recovery, the task does get easier. Our reasons to live change. Our lives are transformed. And brain fog eventually has to find a new home. 

Guitar Bandit And Caught Arrested in Tennessee

If I continue to watch the local news, I will never run out of fodder for this blog...A fellow stole a guitar from a middle Tennessee guitar store. He stuffed the guitar down his pants, zipped up his jacket and walked out of the store. And they caught this on camera...and they just replayed it on TV. 

I have to give the guy props for guts, because that took a lot of them. It gives a whole new meaning to “G” string...and pickin’ and grinnin’...And that’s my entertainment for the day.  One more thing—they called him the “Guitar Bandit.” Given the way he chose to make his exit from the store, I would’ve named him the “While My Guitar Gently Weeps Bandit.” I can think of a million other places that Fender would’ve rather been.

So what can we learn from this? What’s our takeaway? The following is a list..:

1. If you’re gonna steal a guitar, steal a skinny one. I notice he didn’t try to fit a Gibson hollow body down those skinny jeans. Maybe if he’d have chosen a Hofner Shorty, he could’ve made a clean getaway...

2. Make sure you have plenty of room in your waistband to hold the guitar snugly in place. Heaven forbid the strings would start to strum while you’re making your way towards the door.  

3. Fitting the neck of a guitar down your pants leg takes a certain skill set. Not only does it make a nice splint in case of a broken leg, but the body of the guitar provides a nice little cushion in case you fall over when the police cuff and stuff you. 

4. The biggest takeaway is this...if you’re gonna steal, be smart about it. I mean, wouldn’t it have been easier to steal some jewelry or something you can slip into your pocket? Sell the jewelry and buy the guitar? I must have a criminal mind...At any rate, if you haven’t stolen a guitar today, you’ve started the day off right. And if you have, I can only hope and pray it was a clean getaway. Imagine explaining this to the kids..

This isn’t a picture of the guitar he stole. But it's a doggone nice guitar picture...😊

Exercise and Whipping It

I am watching the news and a guy just got shot with a BB gun while he was out jogging .  This just proves what I’ve always suspected...working out can kill you....There is zero chance I will die that way...

I don’t enjoy working out. There is something about it that just makes me (pun intended) sweat.  I don’t think it can compare to the sheer exhilaration of eating a piece of red velvet cheesecake or a Krispy Kreme donut. Moving around that much can’t possibly be good for you. 

I think it’s the word “work” in the words “working out” that makes me break out in hives. I literally have to give myself a pep talk every.single.time I even think about turning on a workout video. I am totally unfamiliar with those positive endorphins that supposedly get released when we attempt to whip our bodies into submission. Probably because I’m mentally groaning and chanting to myself, “Ok, only three more of these blasted things until I’m done...ok, two more, ok, one more, ok DONE!” This isn’t a good attitude. Don’t be like Elaine...

The older I get, the more I realize how my stubby little body has betrayed me. I mean, I never had wrinkles, or droopy bottom or random hairs growing out of strange places. I was cute, I was perky. I was hairless in places I was supposed to be hairless. Nowadays, I am none of the above and I’m not happy about it. Maybe if I worked out more I could at least do something about the droopy bottom....I can’t decide if it bothers me that badly or not...

Maybe I need to take Devo’s advice...”When a problem comes along, you must whip it. Now whip it! Into shape! Shape it up!” The last thing I whipped was when I squirted some Reddi Whip into my cup of tea...

just a fun little blog for you today! God bless you, fellow whippers!  

 #laughter #griefrecovery #griefcoaching #lifecoaching #lifecoachingworks

How Comfortable Are You?

Today is supposed to be the day my upstairs air conditioner gets fixd. Speaking from the standpoint of someone who has slept on an air mattress for the last three weeks,  I will probably do a little hallelujah dance. Even though I’m grateful for the air mattress and it’s pretty comfortable, it makes noises when I turn over, it gets cold, and Trixie hates it. She uses it as an opportunity to launch herself off the end of it in the middle of the night and pace the floor. I can only assume she’s guarding us from rabbits who frequent my tiny back yard this time of year...

Is there something amiss in your life? Is there something happening out of the ordinary? Are you out of your comfort zone in any way? Are you figuratively “sleeping on an air mattress,” waiting for something better to come along (such as a job, a car, a house, a person)? Camping out on this air mattress has made me realize something: I was comfortable with my real mattress. It has a pillow top. It has just the right amount of firmness, yet it’s squishy to the touch.  It’s big enough for both me and Trixie. There are many things to praise about it. I love it. Yet, sleeping on this air mattress has made me see a few things differently...

1. My living room is surprisingly quiet at night. I’d never noticed this before because my occasions to sleep on the couch have been few, for which I’m grateful. However, when sleeping on that air mattress, I can revel in the silence. I can pray. I can think (well, unless I move and it starts making noises, then all bets are off).   I can contemplate my future, which is a polite way of saying I can worry in peace...

2. It’s a fine place to pile up with a good book. Somehow, reclining on that air mattress has re-kindled a desire to read. I have read two books over the past few weeks. I’d like to say they were spiritual and high minded, but they were just novels. Entertaining, but didn’t do much in the enrichment category. However, they were a respite from the cares of life, and that makes it worthwhile. We all need rest from time to time. 

3. My dog may be restless at times, but the coldness of the mattress makes me grateful for her snuggles. She even gets under the covers with me, nestling in against my tummy, curled in a little ball. This is comforting beyond measure, and reminds me of how often we take the comfort of the Lord for granted. Just knowing He’s always present, interceding on our behalf, warms my heart, and I don’t mind the cold. 

The guys just arrived to install my new unit. I had to get up off my air mattress and let them in. They are here early. Which suits me just fine.    

When The Going Gets Tough

I have been reading about Elijah and Elisha, two Old Testament prophets. These two dudes cranked out miracles like nobody’s business. They were relentless in their pursuit of God. And Elisha was relentless in his pursuit of Elijah...    

When it was time for Elijah to go be with the Lord, he tried to go it alone, as we humans are prone to do from time to time. I don’t think he reckoned on Elisha sticking to him like glue. Twice Elijah told Elisha to turn back, and twice Elisha refused. As a result of Elisha’s persistence, he not only got to witness Elijah going up to heaven on a chariot, but he received a double anointing and inherited Elijah’s mantle. Not a bad day’s work.  And this happened because Elisha was persistent.  

How persistent are we? Do we keep going when things get difficult, or do we stop in our tracks, defeated? Do we move boldly into our future with God at our center, or do we retreat backwards, giving in to the devil? I admit it—I’ve done the latter on more occasions than I care to name. It’s hard to move when you feel paralyzed. 

Heres the thing...I’m not sure God wants us to spiritually stay where we are. I understand there are times to move and times to stay, but if we aren’t moving at some point, we are going backwards and don’t even realize it. Elisha took a leap of faith and moved forward, even though his mentor, Elijah, told him to go back. Why? Because Elisha had seen enough in the daily life of Elijah to know that whatever God was doing in Elijah’s life, Elisha wanted it! He wanted the power and miracles that came from living life close to God and in obedience to His Word (literally His spoken Word, because he didn’t have the Bible as a source like we do).  Those Old Testament prophets had it goin’ on. Imagine not having a written reference guide and just hearing God speak and KNOWING IT WAS GOD! how awesome was that?!? 

The lesson we can take away is when naysayers come (and they always do), we shouldn’t let that stop us from doing what God has directed us to do. Even if someone you respect tells you to stop, listen to God, and If He instructs you to go, then GO! I’m not talking about not listening to wise counsel. That’s a lesson for another day. And we absolutely should listen to those who have the wisdom of God operating in their lives. However, if God has given us a vision, then we need to do it. Period. No excuses, no fear, no stopping. This is why we live and breathe—to love God, love others and promote His Kingdom here in this earth. 

If you've been struggling with moving towards Gods will for your life, stop. Pray about what God wants you to do. Begin today. God bless! 

 #coaching #griefrecovery #lifecoacchingforwomen

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7 

i think about this verse a lot and wonder why in the world I have such a difficult time achieving it. I thank God when things are going well.  When  I’m the midst of trouble...not so much... I am frequently anxious, consistently ungrateful and I am not as careful with my heart as I ought to be. 

As I enumerate my failings, I realize I am much harder on myself than I need to be. I seem to forget about the times I DID actually rest in the Lord, the times I DO thank God for His mercy, and the times I’ve basked in His wonderful peace. I have a hard time seeing the positive in me because I know my faults, which are many. However, I don’t believe God I tends for us to live our lives that way! Don’t get me wrong...if we sin, we need to repent, but we should be living our lives more positively, more joyfully, and more graciously. 

So...how do we do that? First off, we need to change the perspective we have of ourselves. We should begin to see ourselves free from anxiety, and free of guilt and doubt. We not only doubt ourselves, we doubt Gods ability to perform His Word. We waffle back and forth between two opinions, and stand on neither. We blow hot and cold air at the same time. We become lukewarm. But when we change our perspective, when we see things differently, especially if we begin to see things through God’s perspective, we can begin to live a full and abundant life, just as God Intended. We should ask ourselves, “What does God say about me? Am I valuable?  Am I a person of worth to Him?” 

God says these things about me: I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am valuable and precious in His sight. He sent His Son to die for me. That’s how valuable I am to Him. These are basic things, but we often forget them because we don’t have God’s perspective operating in our lives. We let our all-too-human perspectives get  in our way. And I would also submit, we see what we want to see, both about ourselves and about God. 

What are we gonna do about it? The first thing we can do is simply stop and breathe! Taking a moment to pause in our hamster wheel brains works wonders. Just breathe for a few minutes. Calm our minds. Calm our spirits. Pray. 

The second thing we can do is ask God to give us His mind...to allow His mind to live within us, and for us to see like He sees. Be warned—we may begin to see things we don’t necessarily want to see. We may start to see our own sin and have to deal with it. We may start to see the pain of others and be nudged to do something about it. We may start to perceive God wants us to leave our comfort zones behind. These things are hard. But if we really seek God and try to see things from His perspective, we can do greater things than we ever imagined. 

The third thing we can do is to follow through with what God shows us. When God reveals something to us, most of the time, there will be an accompanying action on our part that’s expected. There will be something God will require of us and WE NEED TO DO IT! Sometimes, it won’t be an easy something.  and at other times, it will be as simple as picking up the phone. But, if we are obedient, then God can work with that, even if we fail. Obedience pleases God immensely. 

Have you ever struggled with any of these things? If so, leave a comment here. I’d love to hear from you! Have a great day today!  

What Can a Wig Do For You?

What Can A Wig Do For You?

I am constantly asked, “What’s with the wigs?”  I’ve answered that question a bunch on my YouTube channel, but I thought I’d go ahead and address it here…

I have always had problem hair.  It’s fine, flyaway, and thin.  I’ve never loved it like I should.  I’m sure I’ve not contributed to the health of it, as I’ve whacked on it, bleached it, dyed it, stripped it, and streaked it just about every color over the years. My hair has, however, gotten thinner since I went through menopause, and buying a wig seemed like a good alternative to doing more damage to myself.  Not only can I change the color, I can change the cut, the length, and the texture, just by popping a new wig on my head.  When my hair began to get thinner a few years ago, it really messed with my self-confidence.  I no longer felt vibrant and perky.  I felt old, used up, and unattractive.  Wearing a wig occasionally has really helped me feel younger and more like myself.  I won’t apologize for that. And that’s only one benefit.  Another, equally important benefit, is that it helps me get outside my comfort zone and see things from a different perspective.  I actually give my wigs names, crazy as that sounds.  If I feel like Roxy one day and Maryanne the next, well, I just put on the appropriate wig, and rock my world in it.  Because one thing is absolutely certain…if you’re gonna wear a wig, you can’t do it timidly.  No, wigs call for boldness, adventure, excitement.  No zones of comfort allowed.

Now, to the question…What Can A Wig Do For YOU?  Obviously, at it’s most basic, a wig can help you decide if you’d like to change your hair color or cut.  Even though a wig won’t look exactly like your own hair (and it’s important for you to know that right upfront), it CAN be very effective at showing whether or not a certain color or cut will be a good match for you.  If you’ve always wanted to have blonde hair, buy a wig.  You can have blonde hair any time you want it, and you don’t have to go through the process of damaging your own hair.  But, I honestly believe the single most important thing a wig can do for you is to help you feel good about yourself.  A new wig that fits well and looks great can give you a huge boost of self-confidence.  A wig can help you look at things a little differently because you’re looking at your issues through a different lens.  These reasons, and many others, are why women wear wigs.  Of course, some wear wigs from necessity because of hair loss due to chemotherapy or alopecia.  But I truly believe the deep-seated reasons are the same.  Women feel more confident if their hair looks good.  Our hair, whether we love it or hate it, has the capacity to make or break our day. I read this advice in “Cosmopolitan” many years ago, and I believe it’s true…”Never begin a flirtation on a bad hair day.”  Maybe that’s why flirtations are so few and far between at the Jackson household—I seldom have a good hair day, and I’m at the age now where flirtations do not grow on trees anymore…

If you’ve ever been curious about trying out a wig, please message me or drop a comment here.  I would love to help you!  Have a great day!

“Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair…shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen…Won’t you give me down to there…HAIR!…Shoulder length or longer…HAIR!…Here baby, there mama, everywhere daddy, daddy…HAIR!” sung by the Cowsills circa 1969. Check it out if you want a good laugh…

Iced Tea, Popsicles and Downton Abbey

By my calculations, this wretched sinus/bronchitis junk should’ve been out of here by now, but it’s lingered on like John Belushi in “The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave.” I am still coughing, blowing my nose, and dragging around like a snail, only instead of slime, I’m leaving a trail of tissues behind me. I feel better, I’m  no longer contagious, but darn it, I get tired easily...

I’m not sure what topic to land on today, although several are starting to formulate in my NyQuil induced brain. Maybe I’ll just write about how thankful I am that someone invented iced tea, because I’ve drank 3 gallons since last Wednesday. Or maybe I’ll pay homage to the dude who concocted Popsicles. That frozen sugar water delight has saved my throat and my life this past week. Or maybe I’ll write an ode to Downton Abbey, a show I binge watched while laid up on my couch. I don’t know why I’d never watched it before, when all my friends and family kept telling me how wonderful it was. I think I resisted because it looked like another boring British show with drawing rooms, tea (well, after this sickness, I don’t mind that quite so much), snobbery, and horses...things I’ve never fully embraced. Especially snobbery and horses. I can’t abide being around a snob and horses just scare me half to death. Anyway, I digress from the point...what was the point...on yeah...Downton Abbey. Sorry, drifting a little there...I have, in fact, become a fan of Downton Abbey, so much so that I want to have a ladies party where we all dress elegantly in long gowns and consume scones. I have found a kindred spirit in the Dowager Countess...Her one liners are epic, and I only hope to shock my family half as well when I reach her age. 

Watching that show made me realize that life really wasn’t more simple back in the day. There was a rigid hierarchy that had to be obeyed, and it was a minefield to maneuver.  Call this one by their title, curtesy to that one, wear this for dinner, but wear that after eight o’clock...I would’ve never lasted. I think we make a mistake when we say times were “simpler.” Times weren’t necessary simpler...people were just as complex back then as they are now. Life was more regimented and roles were more defined. That’s the difference. 

I am not an extremely smart woman. Most of the time, I’m rather thick. However, my lightening quick mind can make a leap from the 1920’s to modern era lifestyle. I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other. I think one is more gracious than the other, but one is also more rigid than the other. I am too sleepy to write more tonight, and after re-reading this, I’m not sure I need to do so. I can only plead too much iced tea and NyQuil. And quite possibly too much Downton Abbey. Cheerio, my friends!

The incomparable Maggie Smith as the Dowager Countess.  I am thinking of doing a slideshow of my favorite fashions from the show. What do you all think?